Well as you guys all know for a long time i've had strong feelings towards scott, i mean we dated, then we split then dated again then split again and i was a mess. I admit i turned into a bit of a physco when we split i was hurting, thats all. Pain like that does stuff to you, it either makes or breaks you. I like to think that yeah sure, this broke me but in the end it made me who i am today. As most of you know we saw each other today to sort things once and for all.
At first i began to think things would never get sorted, i could see how sorry i was, the regret in his eyes, i could tell he was the real scott, almost a ghost to his former self. The scott i hated was well and truly gone.
I'm writing this blog to say that today was the end, make or break. I was scared when i saw him old feelings would come flooding back, i was scared i would want him back and go home a wreck and cry. I was sick of crying. Someone out there is looking out for me, i'm happy again.
Our long going feud is behind us, we are friends, best friends. I'm happier this way, he doesn't love me and neither do i him. We are close, we'll always have the memories keeping us close together. Nothing will ever change that, but we want each other to be happy. Being friends will do this, he isn't a bad guy afterall hes a good guy. Whoever he ends up is very lucky, very lucky indeed.
I keep smiling at the memories now, i look at them with joy instead of hate, i have well and truly cleared the air and we can move on from it and help each other out in love, lust, loss, friends family whatever. We know each other inside out so we can support each other and we always will. I dont want a new relationship right now, but i have moved on. I felt sympathy and care towards for scott, feelings of friendship. I'm glad we have finally put the past behind us and are mature enough to move on from that.
No more pointless yelling, no more sleepless nights, no more tears. We have moved on, and were mature enough to have each other in each others lifes. What we had wasn't a petty crush, it was love. So we will always care, and probably deep down love each other but as a brother and sister. I'm happy the fighting is ending. I surrendered and we are now friends, best friends. I couldn't ask for any more then that.
So i guess the point of this blog is that i'm happy with scott in my life, exes dont have to hate each other. They can be very close as long as they are both on the same wavelength and dont love each other. And they care enough to not want to lose the other it can work, so who knows what the future has in store for my personal life and scotts, but all i do know is he will always have a friend in me, and i in him. This simply fact may not seem like much, but it means the world and so much more to me.
Louu has realised a lot recently my emotions all over the place, but right here and now i am happy again, and i plan to stay this way for as long as possible. :)
