End of a chapter in my life.

Well as you guys all know for a long time i've had strong feelings towards scott, i mean we dated, then we split then dated again then split again and i was a mess. I admit i turned into a bit of a physco when we split i was hurting, thats all. Pain like that does stuff to you, it either makes or breaks you. I like to think that yeah sure, this broke me but in the end it made me who i am today. As most of you know we saw each other today to sort things once and for all.

At first i began to think things would never get sorted, i could see how sorry i was, the regret in his eyes, i could tell he was the real scott, almost a ghost to his former self. The scott i hated was well and truly gone.

I'm writing this blog to say that today was the end, make or break. I was scared when i saw him old feelings would come flooding back, i was scared i would want him back and go home a wreck and cry. I was sick of crying. Someone out there is looking out for me, i'm happy again.

Our long going feud is behind us, we are friends, best friends. I'm happier this way, he doesn't love me and neither do i him. We are close, we'll always have the memories keeping us close together. Nothing will ever change that, but we want each other to be happy. Being friends will do this, he isn't a bad guy afterall hes a good guy. Whoever he ends up is very lucky, very lucky indeed.

I keep smiling at the memories now, i look at them with joy instead of hate, i have well and truly cleared the air and we can move on from it and help each other out in love, lust, loss, friends family whatever. We know each other inside out so we can support each other and we always will. I dont want a new relationship right now, but i have moved on. I felt sympathy and care towards for scott, feelings of friendship. I'm glad we have finally put the past behind us and are mature enough to move on from that.

No more pointless yelling, no more sleepless nights, no more tears. We have moved on, and were mature enough to have each other in each others lifes. What we had wasn't a petty crush, it was love. So we will always care, and probably deep down love each other but as a brother and sister. I'm happy the fighting is ending. I surrendered and we are now friends, best friends. I couldn't ask for any more then that.

So i guess the point of this blog is that i'm happy with scott in my life, exes dont have to hate each other. They can be very close as long as they are both on the same wavelength and dont love each other. And they care enough to not want to lose the other it can work, so who knows what the future has in store for my personal life and scotts, but all i do know is he will always have a friend in me, and i in him. This simply fact may not seem like much, but it means the world and so much more to me.

Louu has realised a lot recently my emotions all over the place, but right here and now i am happy again, and i plan to stay this way for as long as possible. :)

JLS!

So i now how the majority of you hate JLS, but well i love them! and i had the best night of my life we were so near the front it was ridiculous! JB actually put his hands in a heart and pointed at me i was like AMG. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. standing was actually such a great experience ;3 i know for sure, that any future concerts no matter how rough it could get i will want to be standing you really get a feel for the atmosphere and get the full concert experience by standing.

I dont really like olly murs but he is so good live, not even joking he really gets the crowd going and makes them get involved i was screaming like a crazed fan and i dont even like olly! Alexis Jordan was good eventhough she did mime. However i highly recommend checking out this new band that supported them they are called the kixx, they are kind of a pop rock indie group, who are as fit as fuck. I highly suggest taking a listen to them.

The atmosphere was astounding eventhough it was pouring it down with rain i wouldnt have changed it for the world, the rain just added to the epic night and everyone got involved it was just an overall amazing night, i screamed so much i couldnt scream anymore it was out of this world! roll on the midnight beast on August 24th Cant wait :D xxx

Prom Night!

Prom was such a good night :) i spent all day getting ready, and trying to transform myself into a princess for the night, it felt so strange wearing a dress instead of my usual hoodies ;D i had a truly brilliant night. My favourite part of prom had to be when people first see you and you can see their whole expression is "wow" its the best feeling ever, you like beam from the inside and out.

I am a girly girl at heart i'm a bit of everything me. But prom made me feel special and pretty and well beautiful, the amount of compliments i got was insane and i love compliments :D Prom was intresting, we had a barbeque, took a lot of pictures, danced the night away, got a photo shoot style photos and i even managed to almost strip to everyone by rocking out to basshunter too hard! it could only be me :3

But yeah it was awesome, heres some prom pictures - i wanted to look my best and i think i looked pretty damn hot if i dont say so myself so enjoy bloggerinos (L)

Prom.

Prom. one of the most stressful situations in a girls life, seriously theres so much you have to get done, the guys really do have it easy!

I mean lets think about what us girls have arrange and get sorted :

1. Transport

2. Makeup

3. Nails

4. Hair

5. Dress

6.Shoes

7. Money

8. Purse

9. Bag

10. Jacket

and thats just at the top of my head, i mean i'm not one of those sterotypical girls who wants to be "prom queen" or anything like that, thats far too cliche for me.

I mean, the normal imagery of the kind of person whos nominated for prom queen is Stuck up, Snobby, Rude, Ignorant and stupid.

I find prom really stressful to be honest! far more stressful then my gcses, because sure i dont wanna be the best loooking there, but i dont wanna look like an idiot either and i feel that for the typical teenage girl prom is something they have always been looking forward too like a wedding. However i also feel that proms become really americanized i dont like that its become american orienated.

I Hate americans D:

so yeah, prom = stress.

i hope i look alright on the night :')

heres me in my dress

i hope it all pans out

Love you fellow bloggerinos :D

Sixth Form Induction!

So i've said this many a time that i will write a daily blog :3 but yeah i'm pretty determined :D

Today was my sixth form induction, and surprisingly for a day of school it was pretty fun :D the options i've decided to take are History, Sociology, Drama And Re.
so we arrived there this morning and we had a brief assembly on the basic rules of sixth form, truthfully i wasnt listening because i was on my phone :P

We got taken to look out our class lists and our lessons for that day, i was pretty pleased with mine :)
Lesson One History With Rebecca Daniels And Charlotte Horn :D
Lesson two sociology with Rebecca Daniels And Rebecca Newton
Lesson Three Drama with Chloe Radford
Lesson Four Re with nathan bennet ;D

Turns out my bottom two lessons every lesson will be at queensbury so i guess i'll be hopping on the bus a lot and i should be in laura skeltons class for RE and Scotts... O_O class for drama that could be quite intresting.

All and all throughout my day it was intresting i worked hard, it was quite draining but i felt like i'd achieved something at the end of the day and i really hope to pull i together this time and do well in my A Levels instead of dosing about i've done enough of that for sixteen years, but i really cant wait till september i reallly think sixth form is the way forward for me :)
so i'm pretty focused on my education at the moment lets see how long this lasts before Louu slips back into her old ways...

Summer begins here!

WOO! The 28th June 2011, the day i have been waiting for, for SO long. I had my last exam today - finally :) i'm just so glad its summer, i really need this long break a lot has happened and i could do with a little relaxation time :)

I mean so far summer hasnt gone to plan, its raining all the time i swear its meant to be june?! someone i love very much, isnt with me relationship wise anymore, and i dont reckon he loves me like i do anymore (L) Theres been a lot of family stuff going on too :D so this break is well needed :')

In total i've had a lot of exams, i've had Music, Re, English Lit, Science, History, Science, History Re, German...i think thats it ._. but yeah this break is very much needed so i can relax until August 25th Results day. That'll be one hell of a scary day seriously.

Things in my life arent great at the moment, but i do hope they will get better in time and i have my friends to bring me through it, maybe me and scott will get back together but who knows - i guess we'll have to see what the future has in store, but for now i will admit i miss him, but i cant do anything about it so for now i'm going with the flow and basically

Roll on Summer 2011 (L)

Beauty.

Beauties a strange thing. I personally think everyone is beautiful in their own way, i dont believe anyone is ugly - what is beauty? isnt physique or persona? i personally think it depends on the individual :) but Laura skelton tagged me to write about personally views of myself so here goes :)

Imperfections...
1. I dont like my nose, its kind of a funny square shape and its really square i feel like i have a male nose, it kind of ruins my face i swear D:

2. My weight, i wish i was slimmer, but i love food i want to be slimmer because it would give me more confidence and make me a happier person, i'm determined to lose weight this summer though :D

3. My Eyelashes, they are stupidly short i wish they were a lot longer, i have literally naked eyes so i cover them in mascara but it would be so much easier if i just had relatively noticable eyelashes like my sister! so jealous of her tbh :)

Things i like....
1. My burns, funnily enough most people would think i would hate them? But they are my personally marking which makes me, me. I wouldnt change them for the world people often stare at me when my neck is on show but idc, because it makes me stand out from the crowd and different from anyone else and i wouldnt change it for the whole wide world :)

2. My eyes, they are a really sparkly blue and they kind of glisten in the sunlight i really like them and often you'll catch me staring at the colour in the mirror because they remind me of a whirlpool or something :D

3. My clevage, in a none slaggy way. Because i'm not ridiculously big but not small either, i like it because then i know a guy wont just get with me because of my clevage because its not overly big or small, so it helps me to trust guys more if you get me? that sounds weird...

Most of these things i've picked are purely physical beings, i feel that our generation should focus more on whats inside because thats just as important as the outside! i love my personality, i think i'm a comical god :D i may be vain but so what, personality counts just as much as physique but i feel that gets forgotten in this day and age.

Fat, Thin, Tall, Small, God loves us all (L)! we are all beautiful in our own right, be it personality or physique, and we cant expect to be loved if we dont love ourselves - confidence is key to the secrets of life and it always will be :)