Kony 2012

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watch and share for a great cause (L)

Valentines Day (:

I noticed yesterday how a lot of people are really anti valentines! I really dont get it, i mean valentines is about spreading all kinds of love - every year i get a present from my mum showing our love for each other.

I get that a lot of people feel it as a waste, as they are single or even in relationships but its not even about intimate relationships its about spreading love to family and friends alike.

I also found that a lot of people said that love between lovers should be shown everyday not once a year, i agree that should be the case but Valentines is a day to be soppy and no one judges and really have an excuse to treat your other half. Kevvy and i show our love everyday, but valentines is just that bit more special as all couples come together on one day.

Me and kevvy had a brilliant day i got taken for a chinese got a rose and chocolate too it was the perfect evening and the atmosphere was very romantic. Some couples beloeve its too cheesy but i dont think that should be the case its not cheesy its sweet and romantic only each individual can make it cheesy.

It was mine and Kevvys 6 months yesterday it was so perfect like every day is, but i feel that Valentines day just has a certain spark to it. Its arguable that i love Valentines as i am in a happy content relationship, but i have always loved it as its a celebration of love and if i wasnt with kev i woulda gone to the cinema with my fam instead.

All im saying is hating Valentines is pointless as its a celebration that encourages everyone to show love one day a year and i personally feel we shouldnt have to work on that day and should be made a public holiday.

I love you all, your all my valentines (:

Self Belief.

Throughout teenage life theres a lot of ups and downs, a lot of different emotions. I've never believed in well, me. I've never thought i was smart, slim, pretty, loved or funny. I just kind of came to accept it. At the beginning of the year i was struggling and stumbling through all my subjects, history drama RE amd sociology. This last term i've been really motivated and achieved. In my last korea assesment i got a U but today i got a C i was so proud.

This made me realise if you stick at something you will get there in the end, nothings impossible and i now believe i can do anything i set my mind on.

Sixth form isnt necessarily to do with brains, i feel you achieve if you set the right mindset, thats what you really need to achieve.

My main message is this "keep trying, dont give up. Everything is possible - you can and will achieve it in the end."

Brave Girl

It may not seem a lot to you, but today my sister slipped on the ice and really hurt her hand, she was crying in agony. So we had to go to the hospital, turns out it was fractured.

I was really scared when i saw her as i thought she was going to pass out and it was just me at home, i didnt have a clue to be honest.

It just made me realise, all the times i snap at her all the times i yell, all the times i tell her to go away that i should be careful, because one day something really bad could happen.

I guess this was an eye opener to the real world, not my own little bubble. And i love my sister more then the world, she never moans never complains just deals with things and i am so proud of her.

Love you little sis i'm always here for you (L)

Self Belief

Sixth form. Well theres a lot to say about it for sure, i mean at times it great with the free periods and time with friends and the advance learning. Other times you feel at rock bottom, you feel so low and almost useless in everything you do it isnt great.

I mean i love the topics i've picked, sociology, history, drama and Re i love them to pieces but at the same time they drive me insane, with all the essays and work that comes with it. I know how i feel when i get a low grade, i feel like giving up, i feel like i can never do this. I can't improve, the amount of times i have considered just cutting my losses and going to college or something, its really stressful. I mean it can put strains on any relationships you have with friends, family and even a lover.

I mean i'm not afraid to admit that at sometimes yeah i am reallly struggling, i mean in my last two history essays i got a U it broke my heart its weird i never thought grades would bother me as much, and i began to not try in my other subjects because i felt well shit.

Today in Philosophy i got my confidence and self belief back, i got a B and was a mark or so off an A i swear i was so happy i nearly cried, suddenly all of my confidence came back and i thought i can do this. I really can, i'm going to redo my essays and the least i am getting is a D this time, i wont go down without a fight.

Basically the reason i'm writing this blog is to encourage all of YOU when you are feeling down, dont give up and even if you do dont quit. Wait and things will improve its probably only one subject you are struggling so dont give up the fight yet, you may have lost the battle with your subject but you haven't lost the war. You will win the war, if you believe you can do it. Keep smiling, i believe in every single one of you you are all capable of great things and i know you can do it. Nothing can stop you unless you let it so dont, keep trying. Keep that self belief and dont ever give up because you are in control of your future and you can make something brilliant of yourself, i know you can. If you feel down and think oh sod it i cant do it, remember this i believe in you, and i'm not the only one. Everyone out there believes in you so you should too, so grasp the opportunity and go, achieve make yourself proud, myself and everyone else around you already are. You can do this, keep smiling never give up be confident and finally Have self belief!!!

The person who always believed in me and i knew he did, he never gave up on me was kevin cook he constantly told me i was good enough and he was proud of me and i now hope i have made him proud, like he makes me proud by just existing. I love you kevin, and thankyou so so much :'D

i hope this blog has helped any of you who felt at a loss at the moment, it will get better and thats a promise :)

when one door closes another door opens...

So hey there fellow bloggers, i havent blogged in what seems like forever :3 i blame that on my sisters crappy laptop. Anyway about a month or so ago i got with my best friend, kevin cook. Its funny how things happen really, i was convinced after scott that it was the end, i would never find anyone else. I even blamed myself, i believed it was my negative thinking that drove him away (this was probably the case) But anyway, i found kev. Its funny though when we talk i realise now what was right in front of me all along. I think of how i used to feel when kev used to talk to me, or hug me or whatever. And now i realise i loved him, always have always will. Words cannot describe how much i love kev, i mean seriously i smile just thinking or talking about him. He means everything to me, its like the perfect relationship you know? I mean none of this trials and turbulances that i had with scott just a smooth ride, which in all honesty i never want to get off. I know a few people complained about my previous blogs, whining over the loss of scott well i'm certainly not whining anymore. Kev is my best friend, my lover, my world. Hes perfect in my eyes, from his adorable brown eyes, to his tight warm hugs, to his sense of humour. He really is amazing, and i love all the memories we share, we laugh, we cry, we cuddle, we bully. We have everything in our relationship he is my entire world and i guess you all know by now i really freaking adore kevin. I mean its funny how our first kiss was a dare right? But then it was like lightning bolts/fireworks/butterflies and flutterbies. We couldnt control ourselves and we just freely kissed repeatedly. I'm sure you dont want fully fledged details but it was amazing, its one of those nights for the history books. So i realised that well, when you think you've hit rock bottom it can only get better, never give up. You are in it to win it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when you find your one, your only it will hit you - hard. You will know about it, true love is when they feel the same no stress, just happiness and love. Thats what love is, never give up. You will find your prince charming in the end, just gotta kiss a fair few frogs first ;3

Kevin John Cook 14/08/11

i love you to pieces

i love you millions

i love you so much

i love you forever and always, and my oh my i'm glad you came and i will not be forgetting you anytime soon, and thats a promise (L) My love forever and a day - always.

End of a chapter in my life.

Well as you guys all know for a long time i've had strong feelings towards scott, i mean we dated, then we split then dated again then split again and i was a mess. I admit i turned into a bit of a physco when we split i was hurting, thats all. Pain like that does stuff to you, it either makes or breaks you. I like to think that yeah sure, this broke me but in the end it made me who i am today. As most of you know we saw each other today to sort things once and for all.

At first i began to think things would never get sorted, i could see how sorry i was, the regret in his eyes, i could tell he was the real scott, almost a ghost to his former self. The scott i hated was well and truly gone.

I'm writing this blog to say that today was the end, make or break. I was scared when i saw him old feelings would come flooding back, i was scared i would want him back and go home a wreck and cry. I was sick of crying. Someone out there is looking out for me, i'm happy again.

Our long going feud is behind us, we are friends, best friends. I'm happier this way, he doesn't love me and neither do i him. We are close, we'll always have the memories keeping us close together. Nothing will ever change that, but we want each other to be happy. Being friends will do this, he isn't a bad guy afterall hes a good guy. Whoever he ends up is very lucky, very lucky indeed.

I keep smiling at the memories now, i look at them with joy instead of hate, i have well and truly cleared the air and we can move on from it and help each other out in love, lust, loss, friends family whatever. We know each other inside out so we can support each other and we always will. I dont want a new relationship right now, but i have moved on. I felt sympathy and care towards for scott, feelings of friendship. I'm glad we have finally put the past behind us and are mature enough to move on from that.

No more pointless yelling, no more sleepless nights, no more tears. We have moved on, and were mature enough to have each other in each others lifes. What we had wasn't a petty crush, it was love. So we will always care, and probably deep down love each other but as a brother and sister. I'm happy the fighting is ending. I surrendered and we are now friends, best friends. I couldn't ask for any more then that.

So i guess the point of this blog is that i'm happy with scott in my life, exes dont have to hate each other. They can be very close as long as they are both on the same wavelength and dont love each other. And they care enough to not want to lose the other it can work, so who knows what the future has in store for my personal life and scotts, but all i do know is he will always have a friend in me, and i in him. This simply fact may not seem like much, but it means the world and so much more to me.

Louu has realised a lot recently my emotions all over the place, but right here and now i am happy again, and i plan to stay this way for as long as possible. :)