Lent

So i am a committed christian and every year i've given something up, normally i cheat the system by chosing something i could easily live without, like chocolate, homework or waking up early all of these things i could give up anytime i wanted.

So this year i decided to try something different, everyone knows that if you looked up "Louu White" in the dictionary the definition would be world renowned textaholic,chatterbox and a flirt. Its just common knowledge so this year i've decided to give up my one love - TEXTING

Let me tell you this is one of the hardest things i've had to experience in my life its been 3 days and i'm dying i just want to send one text but i am determined not to cave in, and i've realised that since i've stopped texting i have mre time for my friends and my school work which i guess is a bonus but it doesnt stop me craving my beloved phone.

The only thing that is keeping me going is that i've been looking around on the internet and there is a glitch in the whole lent system sundays are seen as mini celebrations leading up to when he rose again so on sundays i can text and i'm really excited about it.

There are 3 main reasons why i am determined not to cave in and just text.
1. Everyone thinks i cant do it - trust me i'm strongwilled
2. i would feel like a failure if i caved in
3. Jesus lived without food and water for 40 days and nights so i can do the same i know i can.

Its funny how much you love something but i am willing to give this up for god i can do this and with the help of god i will.

eventhough Louu White Is Losing Sanity And Is Dying Inside. x_X

Imperfections.

i like how the saying is no body's perfect, but yet everyone expects people to behave a certain way, have no negatives, be the perfect person and role model. I think this is a hard concept to grasp. Two different quotes spring to mind which competley contradict each other - i think anyway.

"No bodys perfect"

"Practice Makes Perfect"

so what is the message that is trying to get across? Should we try to be perfect? or should we not bother at all? thats the question

i believe that everyone has a main negatuve point that is their weakness and is increasingly difficult to over come. Some people are perfectionists, some are stubborn some are loud some are lazy etc.

Personally my weak spot, is my temper anything can trigger it off - and i think that every single one of you especially Melissa Molloy has been at the end of my raging ;D i think its something that is hard to overcome.

I mean today for example i got in a fight with sone of the hardest, meaniest, intimidating girls in our school some of you will know her? Chloe wright. but i didnt care i yelled at her so much so that she walked out i was so angry as she was telling me what i'd said, and her her constant jibes at me all became too much and i exploded. But i think it was a just thing of me to do i mean if your going to keep pushing someone one day you'll get whats coming to you be it in karma. revenge or an argument.

i admit that i'm not perfect and everyone has iimperfections thats what makes us human.

i think that when we meet our soul mate

its our imperfections which make us utterly and completley perfect.

Valentines Day (L)

So its valentines day today! Happy valentines day everyone (L)! Everyone has a lot of varied opinions on this particular day, some think its pointless, others think its beautiful, some are depressed and some are overly happy. It depends how you view life i suppose? Like that half full, half empty scenario (L)! I'm more of a glass full person, i try not to be negative and the majority of the tie i a o not.

Personally i think valentines day is a truly beautiful day, to show how much your loved one means to you - however i think the true meaning behind valentines day has been lost. I mean idiot partners use it as a way to make up to their loved ones, singles get depressed etc - its turned into a cliche all based around couples which isnt the case! i think its a time to show your family and friends how much you love them too i find this day beautiful i do love, love.

It really irritates me when singles are depressed on this day - as the single life isnt so bad. In fact i find that couples tend to be more depresssed then single people. Relationships contain complications. I mean i've been through a lot with men over the years, more then i should - and i still have hope, so i believe everyone else should too. I believe theres someone out there for everyone and we just need to be patient and what'll be will be.

i love valentines day and i feel it has become all about merchandise and the meaning has been forgotten. It should be a happpy day to express your love to EVERYONE so smile, be happy and feel the love today !!

"our love will be forever and when we die we die together" A bit of muse for you there - which applies to everyone. i love you all and my friends and family forever and we will die forever. so HAPPY VALENTINES GUYS. i love you. always :')

Working Hard

Why bother trying when you just get down graded?

I'm gunna be honest, anyone who knows me knows i dont really tend to work in school, as much as i should. But the thing is i really took a liking to our english coursework subject - love. I really tried so hard, i wrote solidly for two hours.

and all that came oiut of it was that i have to re write the whole thing and change the whole course of it because i got too involved, passionate and opinated about the capability about men and how they love. I dont know if you agree but in my experience the majority of men are after one thing and one thing only? i made this point in my essay and apparently it was like i was saying i hated men? and that they arent capable of loving? Which is ridiculous, i never made that point. Or maybe its just me.

I'm a passionate and opinaiated person thats who i am thats why i struggle with coursework i find it ver difficult to not get involved in the arguement.

I admit i have flaws and not taking criticism well is one of them but what irritated me is that she didnt point out what i did well? simply what i failed at. The same occured in german they always seem to focus on how we can IMPROVE not what we did well.

and for me to try it takes a lot, and then when i get this kind of feedback i start to feel like a big fail and like what even was the point in my making an effort? it didnt work - i still failed and it gets me down.

I really think in the future i should get into a career to do with arguing and backing up something? Perhaps womens rights, i'm always very passionate about tthat :') Perhaps its my calling? i dont know. It just annoys me when people purely criticise and dont praise.

Reflections - friend or foe?

i know when i look in the mirror i am utterly repulsed by what i see, the short eyeslashes, spots, blackheads, frizzy hair, fat. my eyebrows. I literally hate how i look, i often look in the mirror and think "do i really look like that?" or even "why does my mirror hate me so much?"

I normally take a ig heavy sigh and head out the door, feeeling rather unconfident. I dont think i've ever looked at myself and thought WOW. i'm something special.

It makes me laugh when people are like "its all about personality" But lets be honest. in our soceity we wouldnt date the hunchback of notredarme. they have to have realitive good looks, and appeal to us. I look at everyone around me and i think - wow your so beautiful! what happened to me? why am i cursed like this.

People are always telling me how pretty i am and i never believe them i think i'm a troll.

So Really what i often wonder is why people say it isnt all about looks? Its kind of a half and half scenario. You cant get a guy without looks and a great personality to match. I dont think i have either, but perhaps i'm just insecure.

So what i often wonder is mirror? friend or foe? i mean no matter how long we spend looking in the mirror it never looks "right" so why do we bother?

Tension.

There are many different types of tension in our lives, and we cant expect there not to be - but i think the way you deal with this tension shows what kind of person you are.

Some people get in really bad moods so easily, or if they need to air a problem they do it in the worst possible manner. I admit i'm not amazing in arguements i'm one of the worst people, you've all probably been at the end of my firing line at some point in my life, but i know what i'm like. and at least i get it out of my system.

It irritates me how some people deal with situations. like online and such thing? i'm like why not do this in person and it annoys me how tension is so easily caused

Religion
Race
War
Gender
Love

surely we should argue to get out this tension but when people pick fights. this annoys me.

i felt the need for a blog and this popped up :P

Fears.

Everyone has at least one fear, some are like me and have multiple fears. I mean i'm scared of many things but i believe that when you are scared of many things it shows you have real emotion and feeling and in may ways fear makes you a stronger person. As you arent afraid to admit your fears.

Anyone who tells you they have no fears it a coldhearted,pathetic,coward and quite simply they are LYING to you. Everyone has fears - some are brave enough to admit it. I am one of those peopls i admit i'm scared of everything. all different sorts of things.

I'm scared of Owls, ghosts, loosing loved ones, that i wont move on from scott, that no one will send me texts like he used too, no one will fit that perfect image like he did - i'm terrified of that. It scares me that he has this hold over me it does. I'm scared of the dark, i'm scared of death, i'm scared of things that arent real. i'm scared of pain and hurt, i'm scared of the dentist, i'm scared of needles, injections. You name and i'm probably scared of it - i'm one of those typical girls who has fear.

But i'm not afraid to show that. and if a loved one was in danger i would face that fear head on. And i think that Without fear we wouldnt have courage. And the bravest of us all are those who can admit fear open heartedly and not pretend we arent scared. Because that is where the true cowards lie, not admitting you fear - but shying away from it.

"Courage is doing what your afraid to do, without fear there can be no courage"