Self Belief

Sixth form. Well theres a lot to say about it for sure, i mean at times it great with the free periods and time with friends and the advance learning. Other times you feel at rock bottom, you feel so low and almost useless in everything you do it isnt great.

I mean i love the topics i've picked, sociology, history, drama and Re i love them to pieces but at the same time they drive me insane, with all the essays and work that comes with it. I know how i feel when i get a low grade, i feel like giving up, i feel like i can never do this. I can't improve, the amount of times i have considered just cutting my losses and going to college or something, its really stressful. I mean it can put strains on any relationships you have with friends, family and even a lover.

I mean i'm not afraid to admit that at sometimes yeah i am reallly struggling, i mean in my last two history essays i got a U it broke my heart its weird i never thought grades would bother me as much, and i began to not try in my other subjects because i felt well shit.

Today in Philosophy i got my confidence and self belief back, i got a B and was a mark or so off an A i swear i was so happy i nearly cried, suddenly all of my confidence came back and i thought i can do this. I really can, i'm going to redo my essays and the least i am getting is a D this time, i wont go down without a fight.

Basically the reason i'm writing this blog is to encourage all of YOU when you are feeling down, dont give up and even if you do dont quit. Wait and things will improve its probably only one subject you are struggling so dont give up the fight yet, you may have lost the battle with your subject but you haven't lost the war. You will win the war, if you believe you can do it. Keep smiling, i believe in every single one of you you are all capable of great things and i know you can do it. Nothing can stop you unless you let it so dont, keep trying. Keep that self belief and dont ever give up because you are in control of your future and you can make something brilliant of yourself, i know you can. If you feel down and think oh sod it i cant do it, remember this i believe in you, and i'm not the only one. Everyone out there believes in you so you should too, so grasp the opportunity and go, achieve make yourself proud, myself and everyone else around you already are. You can do this, keep smiling never give up be confident and finally Have self belief!!!

The person who always believed in me and i knew he did, he never gave up on me was kevin cook he constantly told me i was good enough and he was proud of me and i now hope i have made him proud, like he makes me proud by just existing. I love you kevin, and thankyou so so much :'D

i hope this blog has helped any of you who felt at a loss at the moment, it will get better and thats a promise :)

when one door closes another door opens...

So hey there fellow bloggers, i havent blogged in what seems like forever :3 i blame that on my sisters crappy laptop. Anyway about a month or so ago i got with my best friend, kevin cook. Its funny how things happen really, i was convinced after scott that it was the end, i would never find anyone else. I even blamed myself, i believed it was my negative thinking that drove him away (this was probably the case) But anyway, i found kev. Its funny though when we talk i realise now what was right in front of me all along. I think of how i used to feel when kev used to talk to me, or hug me or whatever. And now i realise i loved him, always have always will. Words cannot describe how much i love kev, i mean seriously i smile just thinking or talking about him. He means everything to me, its like the perfect relationship you know? I mean none of this trials and turbulances that i had with scott just a smooth ride, which in all honesty i never want to get off. I know a few people complained about my previous blogs, whining over the loss of scott well i'm certainly not whining anymore. Kev is my best friend, my lover, my world. Hes perfect in my eyes, from his adorable brown eyes, to his tight warm hugs, to his sense of humour. He really is amazing, and i love all the memories we share, we laugh, we cry, we cuddle, we bully. We have everything in our relationship he is my entire world and i guess you all know by now i really freaking adore kevin. I mean its funny how our first kiss was a dare right? But then it was like lightning bolts/fireworks/butterflies and flutterbies. We couldnt control ourselves and we just freely kissed repeatedly. I'm sure you dont want fully fledged details but it was amazing, its one of those nights for the history books. So i realised that well, when you think you've hit rock bottom it can only get better, never give up. You are in it to win it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when you find your one, your only it will hit you - hard. You will know about it, true love is when they feel the same no stress, just happiness and love. Thats what love is, never give up. You will find your prince charming in the end, just gotta kiss a fair few frogs first ;3

Kevin John Cook 14/08/11

i love you to pieces

i love you millions

i love you so much

i love you forever and always, and my oh my i'm glad you came and i will not be forgetting you anytime soon, and thats a promise (L) My love forever and a day - always.

End of a chapter in my life.

Well as you guys all know for a long time i've had strong feelings towards scott, i mean we dated, then we split then dated again then split again and i was a mess. I admit i turned into a bit of a physco when we split i was hurting, thats all. Pain like that does stuff to you, it either makes or breaks you. I like to think that yeah sure, this broke me but in the end it made me who i am today. As most of you know we saw each other today to sort things once and for all.

At first i began to think things would never get sorted, i could see how sorry i was, the regret in his eyes, i could tell he was the real scott, almost a ghost to his former self. The scott i hated was well and truly gone.

I'm writing this blog to say that today was the end, make or break. I was scared when i saw him old feelings would come flooding back, i was scared i would want him back and go home a wreck and cry. I was sick of crying. Someone out there is looking out for me, i'm happy again.

Our long going feud is behind us, we are friends, best friends. I'm happier this way, he doesn't love me and neither do i him. We are close, we'll always have the memories keeping us close together. Nothing will ever change that, but we want each other to be happy. Being friends will do this, he isn't a bad guy afterall hes a good guy. Whoever he ends up is very lucky, very lucky indeed.

I keep smiling at the memories now, i look at them with joy instead of hate, i have well and truly cleared the air and we can move on from it and help each other out in love, lust, loss, friends family whatever. We know each other inside out so we can support each other and we always will. I dont want a new relationship right now, but i have moved on. I felt sympathy and care towards for scott, feelings of friendship. I'm glad we have finally put the past behind us and are mature enough to move on from that.

No more pointless yelling, no more sleepless nights, no more tears. We have moved on, and were mature enough to have each other in each others lifes. What we had wasn't a petty crush, it was love. So we will always care, and probably deep down love each other but as a brother and sister. I'm happy the fighting is ending. I surrendered and we are now friends, best friends. I couldn't ask for any more then that.

So i guess the point of this blog is that i'm happy with scott in my life, exes dont have to hate each other. They can be very close as long as they are both on the same wavelength and dont love each other. And they care enough to not want to lose the other it can work, so who knows what the future has in store for my personal life and scotts, but all i do know is he will always have a friend in me, and i in him. This simply fact may not seem like much, but it means the world and so much more to me.

Louu has realised a lot recently my emotions all over the place, but right here and now i am happy again, and i plan to stay this way for as long as possible. :)

JLS!

So i now how the majority of you hate JLS, but well i love them! and i had the best night of my life we were so near the front it was ridiculous! JB actually put his hands in a heart and pointed at me i was like AMG. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. standing was actually such a great experience ;3 i know for sure, that any future concerts no matter how rough it could get i will want to be standing you really get a feel for the atmosphere and get the full concert experience by standing.

I dont really like olly murs but he is so good live, not even joking he really gets the crowd going and makes them get involved i was screaming like a crazed fan and i dont even like olly! Alexis Jordan was good eventhough she did mime. However i highly recommend checking out this new band that supported them they are called the kixx, they are kind of a pop rock indie group, who are as fit as fuck. I highly suggest taking a listen to them.

The atmosphere was astounding eventhough it was pouring it down with rain i wouldnt have changed it for the world, the rain just added to the epic night and everyone got involved it was just an overall amazing night, i screamed so much i couldnt scream anymore it was out of this world! roll on the midnight beast on August 24th Cant wait :D xxx

Prom Night!

Prom was such a good night :) i spent all day getting ready, and trying to transform myself into a princess for the night, it felt so strange wearing a dress instead of my usual hoodies ;D i had a truly brilliant night. My favourite part of prom had to be when people first see you and you can see their whole expression is "wow" its the best feeling ever, you like beam from the inside and out.

I am a girly girl at heart i'm a bit of everything me. But prom made me feel special and pretty and well beautiful, the amount of compliments i got was insane and i love compliments :D Prom was intresting, we had a barbeque, took a lot of pictures, danced the night away, got a photo shoot style photos and i even managed to almost strip to everyone by rocking out to basshunter too hard! it could only be me :3

But yeah it was awesome, heres some prom pictures - i wanted to look my best and i think i looked pretty damn hot if i dont say so myself so enjoy bloggerinos (L)

Prom.

Prom. one of the most stressful situations in a girls life, seriously theres so much you have to get done, the guys really do have it easy!

I mean lets think about what us girls have arrange and get sorted :

1. Transport

2. Makeup

3. Nails

4. Hair

5. Dress

6.Shoes

7. Money

8. Purse

9. Bag

10. Jacket

and thats just at the top of my head, i mean i'm not one of those sterotypical girls who wants to be "prom queen" or anything like that, thats far too cliche for me.

I mean, the normal imagery of the kind of person whos nominated for prom queen is Stuck up, Snobby, Rude, Ignorant and stupid.

I find prom really stressful to be honest! far more stressful then my gcses, because sure i dont wanna be the best loooking there, but i dont wanna look like an idiot either and i feel that for the typical teenage girl prom is something they have always been looking forward too like a wedding. However i also feel that proms become really americanized i dont like that its become american orienated.

I Hate americans D:

so yeah, prom = stress.

i hope i look alright on the night :')

heres me in my dress

i hope it all pans out

Love you fellow bloggerinos :D

Sixth Form Induction!

So i've said this many a time that i will write a daily blog :3 but yeah i'm pretty determined :D

Today was my sixth form induction, and surprisingly for a day of school it was pretty fun :D the options i've decided to take are History, Sociology, Drama And Re.
so we arrived there this morning and we had a brief assembly on the basic rules of sixth form, truthfully i wasnt listening because i was on my phone :P

We got taken to look out our class lists and our lessons for that day, i was pretty pleased with mine :)
Lesson One History With Rebecca Daniels And Charlotte Horn :D
Lesson two sociology with Rebecca Daniels And Rebecca Newton
Lesson Three Drama with Chloe Radford
Lesson Four Re with nathan bennet ;D

Turns out my bottom two lessons every lesson will be at queensbury so i guess i'll be hopping on the bus a lot and i should be in laura skeltons class for RE and Scotts... O_O class for drama that could be quite intresting.

All and all throughout my day it was intresting i worked hard, it was quite draining but i felt like i'd achieved something at the end of the day and i really hope to pull i together this time and do well in my A Levels instead of dosing about i've done enough of that for sixteen years, but i really cant wait till september i reallly think sixth form is the way forward for me :)
so i'm pretty focused on my education at the moment lets see how long this lasts before Louu slips back into her old ways...

Summer begins here!

WOO! The 28th June 2011, the day i have been waiting for, for SO long. I had my last exam today - finally :) i'm just so glad its summer, i really need this long break a lot has happened and i could do with a little relaxation time :)

I mean so far summer hasnt gone to plan, its raining all the time i swear its meant to be june?! someone i love very much, isnt with me relationship wise anymore, and i dont reckon he loves me like i do anymore (L) Theres been a lot of family stuff going on too :D so this break is well needed :')

In total i've had a lot of exams, i've had Music, Re, English Lit, Science, History, Science, History Re, German...i think thats it ._. but yeah this break is very much needed so i can relax until August 25th Results day. That'll be one hell of a scary day seriously.

Things in my life arent great at the moment, but i do hope they will get better in time and i have my friends to bring me through it, maybe me and scott will get back together but who knows - i guess we'll have to see what the future has in store, but for now i will admit i miss him, but i cant do anything about it so for now i'm going with the flow and basically

Roll on Summer 2011 (L)

Beauty.

Beauties a strange thing. I personally think everyone is beautiful in their own way, i dont believe anyone is ugly - what is beauty? isnt physique or persona? i personally think it depends on the individual :) but Laura skelton tagged me to write about personally views of myself so here goes :)

Imperfections...
1. I dont like my nose, its kind of a funny square shape and its really square i feel like i have a male nose, it kind of ruins my face i swear D:

2. My weight, i wish i was slimmer, but i love food i want to be slimmer because it would give me more confidence and make me a happier person, i'm determined to lose weight this summer though :D

3. My Eyelashes, they are stupidly short i wish they were a lot longer, i have literally naked eyes so i cover them in mascara but it would be so much easier if i just had relatively noticable eyelashes like my sister! so jealous of her tbh :)

Things i like....
1. My burns, funnily enough most people would think i would hate them? But they are my personally marking which makes me, me. I wouldnt change them for the world people often stare at me when my neck is on show but idc, because it makes me stand out from the crowd and different from anyone else and i wouldnt change it for the whole wide world :)

2. My eyes, they are a really sparkly blue and they kind of glisten in the sunlight i really like them and often you'll catch me staring at the colour in the mirror because they remind me of a whirlpool or something :D

3. My clevage, in a none slaggy way. Because i'm not ridiculously big but not small either, i like it because then i know a guy wont just get with me because of my clevage because its not overly big or small, so it helps me to trust guys more if you get me? that sounds weird...

Most of these things i've picked are purely physical beings, i feel that our generation should focus more on whats inside because thats just as important as the outside! i love my personality, i think i'm a comical god :D i may be vain but so what, personality counts just as much as physique but i feel that gets forgotten in this day and age.

Fat, Thin, Tall, Small, God loves us all (L)! we are all beautiful in our own right, be it personality or physique, and we cant expect to be loved if we dont love ourselves - confidence is key to the secrets of life and it always will be :)

Mothers Day :D

I've been thinking and really my mum is the only "parent" i have, i dont have a dad i dont know him i never see im he doesnt care believe it or not in my entire life hes never said he loves me, But well i guess thats where y insecurities come from with men. I Never ever think i'm good enough because my dad never said he loves me which means he probably doesnt i dont blame him i'm just the retard in the corner. But you know its just suddenly hit me that eventhough hes still around he doesnt love me or care and e never has but thats my life. Most dads help their daughters out not mine. so thats why mothers day means so much to me because my mum tells me she loves me and i rely on her for everything shes one in a million and i love her too pieces and this is why i get so angry if anyone says anyting against my little family because its the only people who havent got sick of me yet. I apologise for the depressingness of this blog i just feel emotional today. i wrote my mum this letter and she cried reading it. me and my mum havent had a row in 16 years i think thats pretty good. I look up to my mum shes simply amazing words can describe her and so so strong and beautiful and i love my mummy. And i hope you all had a good day, and bring on fathers day i guess (L)

Lent

So i am a committed christian and every year i've given something up, normally i cheat the system by chosing something i could easily live without, like chocolate, homework or waking up early all of these things i could give up anytime i wanted.

So this year i decided to try something different, everyone knows that if you looked up "Louu White" in the dictionary the definition would be world renowned textaholic,chatterbox and a flirt. Its just common knowledge so this year i've decided to give up my one love - TEXTING

Let me tell you this is one of the hardest things i've had to experience in my life its been 3 days and i'm dying i just want to send one text but i am determined not to cave in, and i've realised that since i've stopped texting i have mre time for my friends and my school work which i guess is a bonus but it doesnt stop me craving my beloved phone.

The only thing that is keeping me going is that i've been looking around on the internet and there is a glitch in the whole lent system sundays are seen as mini celebrations leading up to when he rose again so on sundays i can text and i'm really excited about it.

There are 3 main reasons why i am determined not to cave in and just text.
1. Everyone thinks i cant do it - trust me i'm strongwilled
2. i would feel like a failure if i caved in
3. Jesus lived without food and water for 40 days and nights so i can do the same i know i can.

Its funny how much you love something but i am willing to give this up for god i can do this and with the help of god i will.

eventhough Louu White Is Losing Sanity And Is Dying Inside. x_X

Imperfections.

i like how the saying is no body's perfect, but yet everyone expects people to behave a certain way, have no negatives, be the perfect person and role model. I think this is a hard concept to grasp. Two different quotes spring to mind which competley contradict each other - i think anyway.

"No bodys perfect"

"Practice Makes Perfect"

so what is the message that is trying to get across? Should we try to be perfect? or should we not bother at all? thats the question

i believe that everyone has a main negatuve point that is their weakness and is increasingly difficult to over come. Some people are perfectionists, some are stubborn some are loud some are lazy etc.

Personally my weak spot, is my temper anything can trigger it off - and i think that every single one of you especially Melissa Molloy has been at the end of my raging ;D i think its something that is hard to overcome.

I mean today for example i got in a fight with sone of the hardest, meaniest, intimidating girls in our school some of you will know her? Chloe wright. but i didnt care i yelled at her so much so that she walked out i was so angry as she was telling me what i'd said, and her her constant jibes at me all became too much and i exploded. But i think it was a just thing of me to do i mean if your going to keep pushing someone one day you'll get whats coming to you be it in karma. revenge or an argument.

i admit that i'm not perfect and everyone has iimperfections thats what makes us human.

i think that when we meet our soul mate

its our imperfections which make us utterly and completley perfect.

Valentines Day (L)

So its valentines day today! Happy valentines day everyone (L)! Everyone has a lot of varied opinions on this particular day, some think its pointless, others think its beautiful, some are depressed and some are overly happy. It depends how you view life i suppose? Like that half full, half empty scenario (L)! I'm more of a glass full person, i try not to be negative and the majority of the tie i a o not.

Personally i think valentines day is a truly beautiful day, to show how much your loved one means to you - however i think the true meaning behind valentines day has been lost. I mean idiot partners use it as a way to make up to their loved ones, singles get depressed etc - its turned into a cliche all based around couples which isnt the case! i think its a time to show your family and friends how much you love them too i find this day beautiful i do love, love.

It really irritates me when singles are depressed on this day - as the single life isnt so bad. In fact i find that couples tend to be more depresssed then single people. Relationships contain complications. I mean i've been through a lot with men over the years, more then i should - and i still have hope, so i believe everyone else should too. I believe theres someone out there for everyone and we just need to be patient and what'll be will be.

i love valentines day and i feel it has become all about merchandise and the meaning has been forgotten. It should be a happpy day to express your love to EVERYONE so smile, be happy and feel the love today !!

"our love will be forever and when we die we die together" A bit of muse for you there - which applies to everyone. i love you all and my friends and family forever and we will die forever. so HAPPY VALENTINES GUYS. i love you. always :')

Working Hard

Why bother trying when you just get down graded?

I'm gunna be honest, anyone who knows me knows i dont really tend to work in school, as much as i should. But the thing is i really took a liking to our english coursework subject - love. I really tried so hard, i wrote solidly for two hours.

and all that came oiut of it was that i have to re write the whole thing and change the whole course of it because i got too involved, passionate and opinated about the capability about men and how they love. I dont know if you agree but in my experience the majority of men are after one thing and one thing only? i made this point in my essay and apparently it was like i was saying i hated men? and that they arent capable of loving? Which is ridiculous, i never made that point. Or maybe its just me.

I'm a passionate and opinaiated person thats who i am thats why i struggle with coursework i find it ver difficult to not get involved in the arguement.

I admit i have flaws and not taking criticism well is one of them but what irritated me is that she didnt point out what i did well? simply what i failed at. The same occured in german they always seem to focus on how we can IMPROVE not what we did well.

and for me to try it takes a lot, and then when i get this kind of feedback i start to feel like a big fail and like what even was the point in my making an effort? it didnt work - i still failed and it gets me down.

I really think in the future i should get into a career to do with arguing and backing up something? Perhaps womens rights, i'm always very passionate about tthat :') Perhaps its my calling? i dont know. It just annoys me when people purely criticise and dont praise.

Reflections - friend or foe?

i know when i look in the mirror i am utterly repulsed by what i see, the short eyeslashes, spots, blackheads, frizzy hair, fat. my eyebrows. I literally hate how i look, i often look in the mirror and think "do i really look like that?" or even "why does my mirror hate me so much?"

I normally take a ig heavy sigh and head out the door, feeeling rather unconfident. I dont think i've ever looked at myself and thought WOW. i'm something special.

It makes me laugh when people are like "its all about personality" But lets be honest. in our soceity we wouldnt date the hunchback of notredarme. they have to have realitive good looks, and appeal to us. I look at everyone around me and i think - wow your so beautiful! what happened to me? why am i cursed like this.

People are always telling me how pretty i am and i never believe them i think i'm a troll.

So Really what i often wonder is why people say it isnt all about looks? Its kind of a half and half scenario. You cant get a guy without looks and a great personality to match. I dont think i have either, but perhaps i'm just insecure.

So what i often wonder is mirror? friend or foe? i mean no matter how long we spend looking in the mirror it never looks "right" so why do we bother?

Tension.

There are many different types of tension in our lives, and we cant expect there not to be - but i think the way you deal with this tension shows what kind of person you are.

Some people get in really bad moods so easily, or if they need to air a problem they do it in the worst possible manner. I admit i'm not amazing in arguements i'm one of the worst people, you've all probably been at the end of my firing line at some point in my life, but i know what i'm like. and at least i get it out of my system.

It irritates me how some people deal with situations. like online and such thing? i'm like why not do this in person and it annoys me how tension is so easily caused

Religion
Race
War
Gender
Love

surely we should argue to get out this tension but when people pick fights. this annoys me.

i felt the need for a blog and this popped up :P

Fears.

Everyone has at least one fear, some are like me and have multiple fears. I mean i'm scared of many things but i believe that when you are scared of many things it shows you have real emotion and feeling and in may ways fear makes you a stronger person. As you arent afraid to admit your fears.

Anyone who tells you they have no fears it a coldhearted,pathetic,coward and quite simply they are LYING to you. Everyone has fears - some are brave enough to admit it. I am one of those peopls i admit i'm scared of everything. all different sorts of things.

I'm scared of Owls, ghosts, loosing loved ones, that i wont move on from scott, that no one will send me texts like he used too, no one will fit that perfect image like he did - i'm terrified of that. It scares me that he has this hold over me it does. I'm scared of the dark, i'm scared of death, i'm scared of things that arent real. i'm scared of pain and hurt, i'm scared of the dentist, i'm scared of needles, injections. You name and i'm probably scared of it - i'm one of those typical girls who has fear.

But i'm not afraid to show that. and if a loved one was in danger i would face that fear head on. And i think that Without fear we wouldnt have courage. And the bravest of us all are those who can admit fear open heartedly and not pretend we arent scared. Because that is where the true cowards lie, not admitting you fear - but shying away from it.

"Courage is doing what your afraid to do, without fear there can be no courage"

Catherine cookson.

So, i've been off ill and my mum's got the catherine cookson books on dvd so i've been watching them. Jesus christ they are so good . We just watched the glass virgin. it was so good it was about this girl who had a crap life. she lived with adopted parents, her dad was a womanizer, her real mum and dad were prosteatues she got with the love of her life but he went to jail and then he ran away because he thought it would be better for her. so fucking good. we have loads of dvds left to watch they are SO long though seriously its like whoah. they are amazing though and i thought my life was crap - its nothing compared to these guys. I cant wait to watch the next one :D

Blog ya later ;) xxx

The zodiac.

I myself, am a strong believe in astrology, horoscopes and the zodiac. It pretty much takes over my life.

I mean theres all the signs which i know off by heart - if you told me a date i could tell you what starsign you are.

theres -
Capricorn, aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, saggitarius.

Of course theres the new zodiac sign arrangements which in my opinion is silly because that is all i've known.

I'm so obsessed with starsigns that if someone is off a certain starsign i wont befriend them or i'm extremley wary of them because i know how my starsign and theres clashes.

i love horoscopes they really intrigue me and if someone does something wrong i will analyse it and see if its in there charcteristics of said starsign.

Yeah, i know. i rely on horoscopes far too much but i love them :D

Melissa and I

Myself and melissa molloy have gone through a lot of ups and downs since we first met, we started talking over facebook and commented on each others pictures - then we started speaking on msn. and gradually we got closer and closer :D

We've had a few ups an downs since we met, we've had a few fights and trust me they've been quite scary fights, we both never back down you see although in the end we just ended up laughing about how funny we sounded - melissa even said i sounded like jeremy kyle

So we've had our ups and downs and we never really spoke after the big fight until now and what i find funny is that Blogger. Has made us closer

WE LOVE BLOGGER (L)

Obsessions

i think people can get obsessed with all sorts of things very easily?



i mean some are obsessed with facebook, texting, boys, reading, a subject, telly, blogger ;) anything really.



i often wonder what is it in the brain that makes you so addicted to something that you physically cant seem to stop? and with obsessions its like a relationship in many ways - its all about this one obsession for so long and then BAM you forget that obsession for quite some time and move onto something else.



Perhaps its when the mind gets bored and you do something that stops this bordom and then it cant seem to stop? due to fear of bordom once again? i know everyones obsessed with something i mean you my dear followers i can name your obsessions.



Jenny - Muse

Emma - Harry Potter and Science

Laura - your obsessed with a few things - Jane,facebook, msn, music

Becky - artwork and those cute little cartoon thingys

anna - God

Melissa - Blogger

Me - texting

so my point is everyone is obsessed with something and this obsessive behaviour can bring out scary points to everyones personalities and i think obsessions are weird things they kind of intrigue me as to what triggers our mind to becoming obsessed? is it that we are drawn toward said thing? is it more detailed then that. i guess this is one of those questions we will never truly know and never truly answer - it gets you thinking though :)

The dentist O_O

Well. atm i am dying due to illness and my tooth
its infected which sucks -.-
and they kinda drowned me in dental mouthwasshyyy stuff
and now i feel like a walking talking dental practition.
:(
bad times for me
i dislike this
and i am dying
so just know that i love you all muchly
byeeeee for now...

Vampirism

well i've had some extremley depressing posts, lets cheer it up so i dont look emoish O_O well basically me and scott are done. finished. over. so i'm gunna move on and be happpy and find someone better, whats the point in living in the past?

Right so today i was sedated because i'm a wimp at the dentist so here is my story - the title ties in with my story (A)

I Got in to the dentist place and this old guy (he looked like watari) and this other dude were prodding me with needles - first off they couldnt find my vein. and so they decided to inject me twice O_O. And i kept swearing at them i was like jesus christ, oh shit, fuck, imaa punch them etccc they didnt like me much i think they were happy when i was out of it xD so i had my filling and tooth taken out and i woke up and i SWEAR this woman called me lucy >_> but it turns out i was confused from the drugs. and also i kept asking my mum the same questions again. i'm surprised she didnt hit me. then i fell asleep and woke up with blood all on my pillow and round my mouth = vampire. and i've been tasting blood and only blood for the last eight hours. Oh and i had a fit when i got injected O_O. and now my arm keeps twitching so now i feel like a vampire. NOMNOM Bloodd.
ALSO
As i havent blogged in a while.

i got a B IN MY REAL ENGLISH
AND A C IN MY MATHS
I Never have to do maths EVER agaain

*happy dance*